Day 193

Writing this while cooling down after finishing the BBG Week 1 Day 2 workout. It’s been ages since I last worked out. Ever since I started working, life has been pretty routine. I wake up, go to work, come home, have dinner, use my computer/read and then sleep. I know it’s just an excuse but I’m usually just so exhausted from work that I refuse to get my ass to do any workout. I guess that resulted in me gaining some weight, which eventually affected my self-esteem (to a certain extent). I expressed this worry of mine over the phone to him and what he said really struck me. He told me that there’s no use complaining/whining over it when I’m not going to do anything about it. I really hope this drive in me lasts till the end of the 12 weeks long workout program. By that time, it’ll probably not be long before I get to meet him in person again 🙂 So… here’s to a fitter looking me?

On another note, I realized I didn’t even write about my trip to Korea for his 첫휴가 (first leave out of camp) in end March. It took me a month to craft the explosion box that I gifted to him to commemorate our 900 days of being in a relationship, which coincidentally happened to be on one of the days that I was in Korea. When I finished the explosion box, I thought that I outdid myself and that he’ll be so touched (hahahahha). I’ve never put in so much effort into crafting something for anyone before. I stand so corrected. I wasn’t expecting anything from him because I mean…he’s stuck in camp. But he really surprised me. He gave me a journal that he wrote in every day for one entire month.  I’m an extremely sentimental person and such gift beats anything hands down. Plus he made the effort to draw cute little comics of his daily life or things that reminded him of me. It was such a cute + sweet + thoughtful gift ❤ I really love it!

The entire trip to Korea felt so surreal. After I came back to Singapore, the trip felt just like a dream and we were back to the reality of being away from each other with limited means of communication. It was so hard for me to say goodbye to him. No matter how many times we’ve parted ways with each other, it never gets easier. I honestly long for the day where we never have to say goodbye to each other again. It’s been slightly more than a month since I’ve came back to Singapore. I still miss him so much every single day and it sucks to know that the next time I can be with him again will only be in September 😦 It seems like forever away. I’m a pretty needy person and truth be told, sometimes I get overwhelmed by the fear of not having someone by my side for so long. Yes it’s true that I am blessed with friends and family that fill my life up with so much love, but the thought of having to wait still scares me sometimes. It’s just a fleeting moment of fear before I come to realize (time and time again) that at the end of the day, it will all be worth it.

 

 

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Day 193

2 thoughts on “Day 193

  1. I tell myself that it’ll be worth it at the end of it all too. Chanced upon your blog and here’s just letting you know that you’re not alone in your LDR thoughts and fears 🙂 I’m from SG too!

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